a little bitty teeny tiny running mishap

I'm going to let you in on a little secret about runners.

They are hard core.

I'm not hard core about pretty much anything. But I surprise myself every once in a while. And it almost always has to do with running.

So let me set the scene. Today. 5:15 am. I'm running with my trusty little B when we get to a long stretch of empty road. We're heading to our hill that we run up and down every week. And I make a critical mistake. Instead of running in the road (not so safe), I lead us up onto the sidewalk (should be much safer). We're under a canopy of trees and there are no street lights anywhere nearby.

Side note: Recently I asked The Man to get me a head lamp for running in the dark. He laughed at me and told me how ridiculous that was. What a goofball I would look like with it on. Mmmmmm Hmmmmm.

Anywho, back to the story.

I'm running blind. And Brenda and I are having a great conversation about a book we're reading. We're talking about Jesus and having fun when WWWOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

I realize I've tripped. I'm wobbling. My arms fly out. I'm catching myself. But I'm still in a solid forward motion.

And that's when it happens. I hit ANOTHER lip in the sidewalk. And now I'm realizing: You will not recover from this, Kim. You're going DOWN. I wonder how much this will hurt?

And then, there I was. Flying face first onto the dark sidewalk. I'm thinking I should fall to the grass! Fall to the grass! But it's over to my right and I can't change my projected path mid air! So I hit the ground with my left knee (ouch!) and fall hard on my right thigh (Ouch!). But before I can stop this conundrum of physics, I land on my right BOOB (OUCH!!!). And then I realize that I've attempted to break the fall with my right elbow as well.

As I lay there feeling pain all over my old body, I moan and roll over. I start feeling nauseous. Which I do any time I feel pain or even perceive pain. And right about now, sweet little B starts rubbing all over me. She's telling me I'll be fine. It looked bad. She wished she could have grabbed my arm and caught me (how many times have I caught her before she hit the ground?). And all I can think is: you're so sweet, but stop touching me. I'm going to puke! Of course, because she's being so nice, I'm not saying a word. I'm just moaning. And I'm in a cold sweat. And I realize I have no phone on me. I can't get a ride home. How can I even walk there?

Brenda sits down on the sidewalk next to me. At least she's stopped pawing at me, thank goodness. And then she utters the words every runner wants to hear when they've fallen...

Do you want me to stop your Garmin?

excuse me for a minute while I laugh outloud for a moment.

ahem. OK. I'm better. Back to the story.

I weakly say yes and hand her my arm. And as the color comes back into my face, I realize: where is my phone when I need it?! This is going on the blog for sure and I won't even have a picture of my sorry self.

Now I try to lift my head and I feel leaves and grass under it. Do I have leaves in my hair?, I ask B. Ummmm, yes? she replies. But don't worry. I got all the bugs off of you.

Bugs?

Yah! Did you not feel me touching you? I was picking off all these bugs that were on you!

Well aren't I a piece of work?

And that is when I picked my hard core tail up off the ground and kept running.

Oh yes, I did.