Sunday, January 25, 2015

the circle of life

My son got grounded on Friday. We're having trouble with him listening, so when he skipped the shower in favor of a 30 minute ESPN show, I took the itouch away.

This morning he was whining about not having his itouch. WHINING. Like, sitting at the table with me, head down on his arm, pretending to cry.

I'm not sure if he thought, the more I whine, the more likely I am to get my itouch back in a hurry, OR WHAT. But good grief, these kind of moments with my children show me something very important about life.


Don't we all swear we will NEVER say things to our kids that our parents said to us? Yah, when that first comment comes out of our mouths, we realize WE ARE NOT IMMUNE. So here's what I actually said to my son just now... (very calmly, I might add)

"Son, stop crying. You're in 5th grade. If you can't stop crying about an itouch, then I will spank you and you'll really have something to cry about."

WOW. I AM my dad. And before you tell me I'm a bad parent for spanking a 5th grader, don't worry, he hasn't had a spanking in YEARS.

In conclusion, I'd like to defend parents everywhere. It's not our fault. Some of those lines really were good.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

back to school!

Today was our first day back to school. I thoroughly enjoyed myself because..... well..... I got to spend time with my 13 little muses. And they did not disappoint in giving me blog material. OH NO.... THEY DID NOT.

We use a spelling curriculum that has sentences for each word. Many of these sentences have biblical references. And some use language that is from another century.

Like today.

Here's the sentence I read aloud for the spelling word sir:

Sir, a title of honor, was given to loin of beef by an English king in a fit of good humor.


And then this quip from a sweetie in the front row: A FIT OF GOOD HUMOR??? WHO EVEN COMES UP WITH THESE SENTENCES????

Cue ME, laughing a "head back, holding my tummy, belly laugh" that may or may not have echoed through the halls of our great establishment. It was surprisingly quiet in my little classroom. So much so that when I sat back up to catch a deep breath and opened my eyes, the whole class was staring at me. And maybe even at each other, wondering if their teacher had just lost it....

I obviously HADN'T lost it. But I might have peed my pants a little.

Friday, January 2, 2015

office supplies

My son has the flu.

Have you ever used Tamiflu? Because I am here to tell you that it is a WONDER DRUG. I could not be more thankful for the makers of that awesome drug. Because my puny boy went from laying in bed ALL DAY on New Years Eve (cancelled plans, anyone?) to bouncing around my house like a whirling dervish in just two doses.

Amen! Thank you Jesus! Except could you make him slow down a little now?? Haha, I kid. Mostly.

Anyway, today, I was desperate for a new planner. I like to get my ducks in a row and I like to get them there early. I'm probably a little compulsive about my planning. But I like to think it makes for a better Kim.

So Mr. Mister took me to the Office supply store. He has known me for 16 years (plus) but I'm not sure he REALLY knew that when he took me in there with no price cap, I would be a kid in a candy store! He bought me a new set of Bic Flair pens (you'll thank me later), and some new folders (to keep all the crap together, of course!), along with the ALL IMPORTANT planner refill.

But what happened while we were standing there in the planner aisle, him OH SO PATIENTLY, and me, touching, looking, scheming, and salivating, was the BEST part of the trip. And there's not much that makes me more giddy than a trip to the office supply store.

It was this set of texts that came in from my children. First was THIS.


I was standing there with my husband LAUGHING (head tilted back, belly laugh exploding), and I got THIS, from the cranky girl herself.

WOW. He was no joke! She really is cranky. And crazy. Did she really think I wanted to wear her JANDALS when I could be wearing my Ugg boots in this freezing cold weather???